Sunday 14 October 2012

The year in questions

If I were to describe my time in Sri Lanka to you in question form, it would go something like this:

Kaewada? (Did you eat?)
Which country?
Where you going?
Sri Lanka is good, no?
What about your lunch?
You married?
WHY??!!!!!!!

I cannot tell you how many times I am asked these same questions in a typical day. Of course if varies from one day to the next. But to give you some idea, let's just say it is more than I can count on my fingers (and toes), but less times than the number of rotations my ceiling fan makes in any given hour. On average, doing some very quick sums in my head here, I make that somewhere in the region of.......a LOT of times. 

Depending on who is asking and how I am feeling, my response can vary from silence to something a little more informative. And of course, the answers change depending on the time of day and from one encounter to the next. Typically though, my side of the conversation might go something like this:

Ow, Kaewa (yes, I ate)
England
That way *whilst pointing in the opposite direction to the one I'm moving in*
Ow, hari hari hondai, hari lassanaiy (yes, very very good, very beautiful)
There's an egg rice packet with my name on it at the canteen, and I'm on my way there now
Bandala nair (not married)
Dannair (don't know) *looking puzzled, shrugging shoulders*

Regarding the "why", I do at times respond with a genuine attempt to explain just how different things are where I come from.

"Not everyone gets married. The cultural norms and expectations are not the same. You see, it's not that unusual to be 37 and unmarried in the UK, honestly. No, I am not considered to be a total freak back home. Well, not much anyway!"

This is usually met with what appears to be a brief moment of silent contemplation and serious reflection....followed swiftly by some high pitched and hysterical plotting to find me a Sri Lankan husband.

And so, at other times I mix it up a bit; I invent myself a husband in an attempt to dodge that pesky sri lankan "why" and the conspiratorial wedding planners.  Of course, this leads to more questions, but they are questions for which I am prepared with an endless variety of responses.

"He's a doctor/space scientist/dog psychologist/vampire and we have 2/4/6/8 children/bat pups."

By far the simplest thing, however, is simply to let people know that of course I fully intend to get married. It's just that I will to look later, when I get back to the UK. I explain that, unfortunately, things so far have not really gone my way, and then I place the blame squarely and unashamedly at my parents door.

"They just didn't put the effort in. Once my sister was married off, they lost interest. Mind you, I suppose the inauspicious astrological alignment at the time of my birth didn't help matters...""

Sorry folks, it's just easier this way! And at least you can blame the stars.

4 comments:

  1. Finally someone has had the courage to ask the question we have all been wanting to know the answer to for years. Seriously Beth, why? I mean you have nice hair and a 1st from Sussex Uni. What is not to like? Gabs

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    1. Someone once told me that one's desirability, as a potential bride to be, is significantly affected by the type of people you surround yourself with. "Hang around with the losers, and you'll be a loser yourself". So, from one loser to another Gabrielley, I just really don't know!

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  2. Oh Beth, I owe you an apology. I have just had to link my little laptop up to my pc (pc crashing/broadband going down/grrr/etc etc) anyway, I was idly sat here and saw a little link at the top of my laptop screen and idly clicked it wondering what one of the kids had saved as a favourite now, and then found out to my horror and shame that it was the link to your blog and I had forgotten to look,for months!!
    I am also frankly quite shocked to find out that you are 37 rather than 20 something!!!!
    Anyway, once my broadband/pc etc is sorted I will put a link on my proper pc rather than part time page and hopefully follow what time you have left over there.
    Oh and btw gettting married is over rated ;-)
    take care and sorry again for neglecting your blog
    Lydia x

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    1. No apologies necessary. Welcome back! You haven't missed much really anyway. Just me...falling down holes, talking to goldfish, developing super powers, being likened to a pussy cat, dressing up as a banana as a bridesmaid at a Sri Lankan wedding, starting riots on trains....Nothing out of the ordinary! x

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